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Title A Situation Where Booze is Required to Stay Sane
Rating PG-13
Words 460
Pairing Buffy/Angel, Dawn/Connor

“But you were kidnapped.” He said, hand clutched to the spot where the girl’s open hand had hit his face.

“Yeah? So?” She snapped, her voice squeaking, turning to make for the door of the abandoned warehouse where the pair now stood. The warehouse itself stood somewhere in the middle of L.A.

“I rescued you.” He said, stepping to block her escape.

“Does it look like I needed it?” For emphasis she tossed the stake she’d held in the other hand to the ground. It bounced once in a pile of vampire dust before clattering off into the shadows.

“You’re a girl.” He said bluntly, as though it was all the explanation he needed.

“Brilliant observation,” she said, folding her arms, cocking her hip out to one side, looking the boy up and down. “What? You expect me to go all melty for my knight in ratty clothing?” Her inquiry was met with a glare. “Oh yeah, keep doing that, it’s real sexy.” She began to circle him like a hawk. “Okay,” she shrugged, feeling like it suddenly shot up 10 degrees, “You are kinda sexy.”

“How about a reward for rescuing you?” He asked.

The girl cast a look around, but it was a token gesture no one would find the pair of them. Not here anyways. “Sure,” she said, oh boy she felt like a rebel, her heart nervously pounded in her chest “Why not?”

Kissage, nakedness, two bodies collapse on the floor. The heat in the empty room rose, impassioned gasps crescendoed, and simultaneously at a moment of sheer ecstasy, the steel door and the glass window shattered and from each emerged a figure.

“DAWN!” Shouted the slight figure from the door.

“Buffy?” gasped Dawn, grabbing for her shirt.

“CONNOR!” Came the bark of the shadowed figure by the window.

Connor just glared in the direction of his father. “Dad,” he growled.

Eyes locked across the room.

“Buffy?” Angel gawked.

“ ‘Dad’?” Buffy raised an eyebrow.

The two older figures took one look at the embarrassed teens and wordlessly headed for the door. Once outside, Buffy paused, trying to lift the door back into place, but due to massive breakage of the hinges she finally just walked away, leaving Dawn sitting mortified on the floor as Connor set about pulling his clothes back on.

Meanwhile, out on the street…

“Your… son, gonna figure that one out later,… boinking… my sister…” Buffy said, as though trying to wrestle the concept into her brain, while simultaneously trying to block out the image. “There’s irony here. Somewhere. I think.”

He sighed, a heavy sigh that spoke volumes, volumes that said that he could live another 200 years and never forget the total awkwardness. “Need a drink?” Angel offered.

“Hell yes.”