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Living La Vida Scooby

Title: Living La Vida Scooby
Words: ~880
Rating: PG-13
Characters: BTVS Ensemble
Pairings: W/T, B/R, X/A

“For some reason, I think that patrolling in numbers scares away the vamps.” Buffy said, lazily twirling her stake in her fingers as the Scooby entourage tromped through the graveyard.

“Or it could be the nice pointy piece of wood you got there.” Xander pointed out, sipping at the ridiculously oversized grape slurpie in his hand.

“Or maybe they’re on summer vacation,” Willow suggested, “The Hellmouth tends to get a little less hellmouthy around June.”

Buffy sighed and sat down on a nearby headstone, so old that the carvings had worn flat. “Maybe you’re right, maybe there’s…” she trailed off, “A vampire right behind you. Duck.” She said, leaping to her feet as Willow dove for the ground.

Whoosh. Squish. Poof. Dustiness.

“And you didn’t think of a pun?” Xander asked, hand to his heart in mock shock. “Buffy, you are really off your game tonight.”

Buffy shrugged it off, trying to play it cool, but the redhead got a knowing smirk on her face as she dusted herself off. “Buffy’s just out of it ‘cause Riley’s visiting his folks in the, what did you call it? Oh yeah, ‘Land of Cornfields and Cows and Not-Buffys and- ow.’” Willow’s babble coming to an abrupt halt as an elbow struck her in the ribs.

“Fine, yes. I miss him. But he’ll be back soon… in… two weeks.” She said with a cheerful bob of the head, “and three days… and five hours and twelve minutes.”

“You’re not too eager.” Xander said, taking a sip of his drink, “Nah.”

Buffy’s lower lip jutted out, “Okay fine, I miss him. But there’s no one to commiserate with in my little bubble of lovers in nowhere land.”

“Speaking of nowhere land, that’s probably where all the vamps are tonight, except… you know the one that nearly killed me.” Willow said.

“Which I stopped.” Buffy beamed.

“Yay, by the way.”

Buffy took a step back and was pretty sure that had this been the old west, there would be a tumbleweed, maybe two. “Maybe we should call it a night.” She said, “See you guys in the morning?”

“Our trip to the water park? Wouldn’t miss it for all the tea in China.” Xander said.

Willow shot him a stern glare, “Or some other non-ethnically offensive big amount of stuff.”


Xander thought about tiptoeing downstairs, but due to the noise that came from behind his parent’s closed door, he knew that they wouldn’t notice his late entry into the house. He tossed his coat in the general direction of the coat rack and headed down to the basement.

As he opened the door, the smell of smoke hit him hard. “Fire!” he yelled, snagging the kitchen fire extinguisher and running down the stairs to the basement. “Stupid cat, stupid hot plate.” He muttered as he ran down, extinguisher at the ready, aim, and as he was about to fire he caught sight of Anya sitting on the bed with a few too many candles lit around the room.

The ex-demon looked at him then at the fire extinguisher, then back at him. “Are we going to play Fireman and the Victim in Need of Rescuing from a Well Muscled Man?” She asked.

Snapping out of his embarrassed freeze frame, he set the big red canister down and walked over to the bed. “You did all this for me?”

She nodded, “Well and me, since I expect a night of many orgasms.”

A bemused smile crossed his lips as he leaned closed to kiss her, “That’s my girl.”


Buffy walked inside, a plate covered in tinfoil sat in the center of the kitchen counter and was marked as dinner with a note signed “Love, Mom.” Buffy smiled and lifted the foil to reveal some kind of foreign looking casserole. With a grimace, Buffy took the plate over to the garbage and scraped off the lumpy matter and pulled out a frozen dinner from the freezer.

After she popped it in the microwave, her eye was captured by a pile of the day’s mail on the counter. Sitting on top of the pile was a glossy, idyllic-looking pasture with cows. Ha! She knew there’d been cows. She picked up the postcard and turned it over.

Dear Buffy,
Hope everything’s alright back in Sunnydale. My mom is glad that I have a girlfriend and she seems keen on meeting you. Let’s put that off as long as possible. Wish you were here… or rather, wish I was there.
Love, Riley.

She smiled. The microwave beeped done.


Tara was already asleep on top of the covers by the time Willow got home. She was staying the summer at the Rosenberg’s not too eager to spend summer with her own family. Willow smiled and crawled onto the bed kissing her lightly on the cheek.

Sleepily, Tara rolled over onto her side and peeked open one very tired blue eye. “Morning?”

“Not yet. I just thought you’d be more comfy sleeping in jammies.” She whispered, noting that, not only was Tara still in her jeans and peasant blouse, but she was still wearing her shoes.

“Oh,” Tara sat up, brushing back her hair. “I guess I dozed off. How was patrol?”

“I think the vampires stole your idea of getting an early night’s sleep.” She smiled. “But… I did find this.” She withdrew from her pocket a small blue flower. “It made me think of your eyes. You know, cause it’s all blue and pretty and… it smells good. Not that your eyes smell good, but you do and-” her babble was cut off by Tara’s lips pressing gently against hers.


Tonight, there were pleasant dreams of love. Tomorrow there would be waterslides and wave pools. Tomorrow night there would monsters-a-plenty. Living la vida Scooby.